You've Been Had!!

(and 10 Recommendations for adapting to our ever-changing reality.)

Prologue

"By the time one realizes that change is possible, it has already happened." - someone other than myself

Do you find yourself wondering what has happened to the world?  Does it seem like the good times are past?  How long before we run out of clean water, get blown up, lose our freedoms, or die from a killer virus?  Do you then question yourself for asking such fearful questions?  Are you being alarmist or paranoid? 

Well, before attempting to answer those questions, here’s something to consider: The world as we know it has changed.  Irrevocably. However, rather than embrace that change, or at least acknowledge it, those whose job it is to inform and/or lead us intentionally mislead us into believing that, under their guidance, we can return to an idealized past where life was better (and they just happened to be in control).

For example, the great American experiment has failed. The illusion that we are all exceptional, meant for greatness, and the best damned people in the whole world has become a fantasy increasingly impossible to sustain.  As we work harder and harder just to stay afloat, as we see our investments (if we have any) decrease in value, and as we watch our government representatives devolve into bickering, obfuscating, self-serving party stooges, we can't help but wonder if anyone or anything can stop the downward spiral of our modern lives.  

What do you mean, I can’t be president?  How dare you tell me I don’t deserve a break today?  Waking up to the fact that, after a lifetime of promises, one most likely will never have more money, more things, or more recognition than one has now, creates rage, resentment and an overpowering sense of betrayal.  These feelings, then, manifest as disgust with the System, whose lies perpetuate the dream, and often cause resentment of all authority as well as one’s fellow dupes. Those who want to govern us promise to repair the dream, quash the violence, and Make America Great Again.  That is, if and only if we elect them.

Alas, these promisers will fail, as would anyone who thinks that change can be ignored and reversed by passing laws and policies which resemble those of the so-called good old days.  These perpetuators of the preposterous notion that they can force us back into the way we were (and a sentimentalized version of the past, at that) either don’t see or want to admit their falseness; in fact, they perpetuate it in order to garner votes by speaking to their most frightened, angry and uninformed constituents.

Let’s look at some of the ways in which you’ve (we've all) been had: 

USA!  USA!

It is unhelpful and misleading to refer to America as the greatest nation on earth. First, the questions to be asked are “How does one measure "great"?  What does that mean?”   Of course, there are things that the US did and/or does best; it certainly can be credited with saving the free world in the first two world wars.  America did allow people within its borders and from around the world to lift themselves out of poverty into a stable middle class.  However, those are the gains of the past.  Today, if the truth be told, not only has the American Dream with its promise of success faded; other countries have more secure economic systems and more compassionate approaches to health care, rehabilitation of criminals, senior care and self-care, which includes free time for people to reconnect with their families, friends and themselves.  And, even though many theocracies are intolerant to the point of brutality, many countries seem to be better than our bible-belted land at integrating personal freedom with a moral code.  

One sees a cautionary tale in the Soviet Union, which did not collapse because it was a communist society; it collapsed because what evolved out of a desire for class-free equality was a completely corrupt, inefficient and tyrannical plutocracy. Its leaders oppressed millions of its own people and attempted to control all aspects of life; in such a system, those who could see the weaknesses in the system dared not speak out. The vast discrepancy between what appeared to be working and what actually was working finally revealed itself when new leadership tried to introduce a less restrictive and more entrepreneurial form of governance. When controls were removed, the underlying rot was exposed, not unlike planning to renovate a mansion only to discover that the foundation is gone and the plumbing and electrical systems have been gutted.  Rather than rejoicing over the downfall of an adversarial system, the US should have learned that any economic system without checks and balances and regulations is ultimately doomed to fail.

You too can be president.

Well, actually, probably not. Whereas it is important to teach children that hard work pays off and that they too should aspire to find their place in mainstream American culture, it is important to understand that one’s origins do matter. While many people have risen above their own or their families’ stations, most no longer do.  This does not mean that citizens can’t be productive—only that expecting to be president (or rich, powerful and respected) and failing to do so can do a lot more damage to one’s future than does striving for a meaningful life and a stable livelihood.  The likelihood of a child born in poverty in an area with underperforming schools and/or limited local employment options ever “making it to the top” are not good; in fact, if one looks at current and past presidents, with few exceptions, they came from wealthy or at least upper middle-class environments (and/or with first-class educations) and had multiple opportunities for success before becoming president.  

You deserve a break today.

Again, doubtful. The idea that everyone deserves everything solely because they live in the greatest nation on earth and are watching a particular commercial is not only ludicrous—it is probably the singularly most dishonest and dangerous notion in our or any nation’s psyche.  It is dangerous because someone's not getting what one feels one is owed often leads to disillusionment. (Whereas “disillusionment” in a spiritual context is beneficial in that it conquers illusions, here it is intended in its modern context of “disappointment.”)  Wanting to be rich and happy and expecting to be rich and happy are as similar as admiring someone’s new car and claiming it because one feels entitled.  

Unmet expectations lead to suffering and, if one doesn’t have a productive way to cope with them, can lead to rage.  If one expects to be happy in a marriage and isn’t, one feels wronged and even betrayed.  If one expects to be treated with respect at work, and one isn’t, one feels rage and, in a few cases, becomes violent to others.  If one expects one’s golden years to be golden, and they’re not, one feels bitter and deceived.  In these circumstances, it is not the failure in the marriage, job or finances which disillusions—it’s the defeat of one’s hopes and expectations.

When an entire culture is first flattered, pandered to and misled, and then left with unrealized dreams, the result is an underlying, unfocused anger and a jealousy toward those lucky few who do appear to have it all.  These feelings make us susceptible to becoming, at best, manipulated and, at worst, violent. Any mild indignity or slight can trigger a disproportionately furious response.  Any demagogue who wants power can win hearts and minds by declaring that the world is in terrible shape (meaning we’re not all perfectly happy) and that he or she feels our pain and can fix things.